


Cooped Up

by foxtwin



Category: Big Bang Theory
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-22
Updated: 2009-12-22
Packaged: 2017-10-05 00:47:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/35920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxtwin/pseuds/foxtwin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mrs. Cooper and Dr. Hofstadter occupy close quarters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cooped Up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chelsey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chelsey/gifts).



 “Bye, mother,” Leonard called from the kitchen. “Thanks for coming to Sheldon’s birthday party.” His mother, Dr. Beverly Hofstadter, did not respond as she grabbed her coat and draped it over her arm. She had been in Leonard’s stuffy apartment for nearly three hours, with the only entertainment provided by Sheldon’s wry wit and charming discourse on various aspects of elemental physics. 

“Thanks again for coming. It was so nice of you to bring me your book on the neurological anomalies associated with those claiming to have experienced extraterrestrial intercourse,” Sheldon Cooper said to her, as he led her to the door.

“As I said, I would have wrapped it for the occasion,” Beverly replied. “But I have no taste for such frivolity.”

“Nor I,” Sheldon answered. “I can’t wait to read more of your books.”

“Now that you mention it, I’m currently working on its sequel – a treatise on the mating rituals of religious fanatics.” Dr. Hofstadter turned to leave.

Sheldon opened the door to let Dr. Hofstadter out. As he did so, he gasped and jumped back. His mother, a pan of cobbler in her hands, was just that moment preparing to knock on the door.

“M-Mother,” Sheldon gasped. “You finally made it!”

“Of course I did!” Mary Cooper said with feeling. “How could I not bring you your favorite cobbler, Shelly?”

“My party was at 2:30. It is now precisely…” Sheldon checked his watch. “…5:28 p.m.”

“You didn’t think I’d miss your birthday, did you?” Mary said, seemingly hurt.

“Well…” Sheldon began. “You could have gotten here earlier.”

“I know honey, but the flight was delayed – and the cobbler took forever to bake just the way you like it.”

“Fascinating,” Dr. Hofstadter remarked to Sheldon as she crossed the threshold. “Your mother is at the door laden with a pan of fruit-filled pastry that she has obviously labored to bring to you, and yet you have neglected the convention of inviting her inside to sit down. Neither have you offered her a cup of tea.”

Sheldon, slightly flustered, made quick introductions. “Mother, this is Dr. Hofstadter – Leonard’s mother. She stopped by to gift me with a fascinating book she just published.”

Mary nodded. Beverly cleared her throat, and nodded toward the living room hoping to give Sheldon yet another hint.

Sheldon, catching the hint – albeit too late -- stepped aside to let his mother in. “By all means, mother. Come in. Come in.”

“Oh, I can’t just yet,” Mary remarked, handing Sheldon the pan of cobbler. “I left your present in the car. I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll accompany you down the stairs then,” Beverly said.

“Why use the stairs,” Mary said, “when the elevator works?”

Beverly glanced over Mary’s shoulder. Sure enough, the caution signs had been removed from the elevator and the lights on the elevator were fully functional.

Beverly’s eyelids rose in surprise. “I don’t believe the elevator was fixed when I arrived this morning,” she said.

Just then, the elevator signaled its functionality and opened its doors. Penny, laden with her laundry basket, emerged with a wide smile on her face. As she emerged from the elevator carriage, Penny noted Mrs. Cooper and Dr. Hofstadter in the hallway.

“Why, hello Mrs. Cooper, Dr. Hofstadter!” Penny said.

“Hello, honey,” Mary said.

“Hello, Penny,” Beverly nodded. “We were actually on our way down the stairs.”

“Well, you don’t need to do that,” Penny said. “The elevator’s been fixed. I’ve been using it all afternoon.”

Beverly registered the note with a nod.

 Looking at Beverly, Mary said, “I’ve been prayin’ for that thing to be fixed for years.” Then to Penny, Mary said, “Have a Merry Christmas.” To Beverly, she said, “After you.”

Beverly took the initiative, inspected the threshold of the elevator and the carriage itself to determine its mechanical soundness. Before she was satisfied, Mary pushed her into the carriage. 

“For God’s sake, they just fixed it. We’re only a few floors up.”

Beverly, hardly thankful for the impolite shove, was even more discomfited when the carriage doors closed.

The elevator floor shook as the doors of the carriage finally shut. Mary forced a smile. Beverly adjusted her glasses, hiding her nervousness. The elevator began its descent, slowly. Very slowly. The rising pitch of the elevator’s mechanics and the awful shriek of metal upon metal caused Mary to flinch as the carriage made its labored way to the ground floor.

Beverly remained calm. “I do not believe this elevator is properly functional,” she said. 

“Sounds like someone forgot to put some oil on the gears,” Mary said, glad to lighten the mood a little.

The elevator continued its descent at a snail’s pace.

Hoping to change the conversation, Beverly began, “Your son is a wonderful scientist. He has much to offer the scientific community. You must be very proud.”

Mary looked at Beverly a moment. “All that he gets from Jesus, you know. Lord knows he didn’t get any of that from his father or me.”

Of a sudden, the carriage stopped. Relieved, both Mary and Beverly waited for the carriage doors to open. When they did not, Mary looked to the instrument panel and pressed the “Open Door” button. Nothing happened.

Beverly looked at the instrument panel stoically. “Try the ‘Close Door’ button,” she said. “Perhaps there’s a short circuit.”

Mary did as Beverly directed, still with no effect.

Beverly dug in her purse for her cell phone. Finding it, she quickly dialed Leonard’s apartment.

“Leonard,” she said. “This is your mother. …No, I didn’t forget anything. …No, I’m not coming for another visit. …No. …Leonard, listen. Mrs. Cooper and I are in the elevator. …Yes, we know it was fixed. …No, it is not exciting. …The elevator has stopped functioning.”

Mary began pressing all the buttons on the instrument panel – some of them simultaneously – as Beverly continued to talk with Leonard.

“…We’ve tried pressing the ‘Open Door’ button, but the doors will not open. …Yes, I suggested that as well, but there seems to be a malfunction in the gear mechanism, as opposed to some electrical malfunction. …No, we have not attempted that course of action yet.” Beverly covered the mouthpiece of her phone. “Leonard suggests we press the Intercom button.”

Mary scoured the instrument panel for a button that indicated an intercom, but could not locate it. “I don’t see one.”

“…There’s no ‘Intercom’ button, Leonard,” Beverly said. “…No, but I’ll check.” Beverly covered the mouthpiece of her phone and was about to ask Mary to see if there was a ‘Panic Button’ or something similar, when she saw Mary, her hands pressed flat on the instrument panel, her eyes raised to the ceiling. “JEE-zus, heal this creation of man of all its evil sinfulness!”

Beverly rolled her eyes. “For heaven’s sake!” she said under her breath. Then, uncovering the mouthpiece said, “Tell Sheldon his mother has started metaphysical communications.”

Mary, eyes closed, continued her prayers. “Heal the wires and the gears, O Lord! Form them into working parts for Your Glory! Hallelujah.”

The carriage gave a lurch. Beverly’s eyes opened in surprise. “Never mind, Leonard.” Beverly ended the call, then inspected the carriage. Surely a rational explanation would account for their being trapped in this obviously flawed, obviously malfunctioning elevator, only to have it begin again. Mary kept her eyes shut and hands on the instrument panel as the elevator began slowly descending once again.

Feeling the elevator moving, Mary continued her prayer. “Thank you JEE-zus.” The grinding of metal upon metal continued, its grating and Mary’s prayers making Beverly cover her ears.

Mary took her hands off the instrument panel and opened her eyes. As she did so, the elevator lurched to a stop yet again. Sensing defeat, Mary prepared to put her hands on the instrument panel yet again for another round of prayers.

Beverly quickly jumped to the instrument panel, pressing the ‘Open Door’ button rapidly, not allowing Mary another chance to attempt her version of faith healing.

Slowly, the doors to the elevator opened. Beverly pushed quickly past two maintenance workers, thankful to be away from the elevator.

Mary stepped from the elevator, herself, grateful for the Lord’s intervention.

Beverly composed herself, recognizing the scientific value of her recent ordeal. “Mrs. Cooper,” she said, handing Mary her card. “We must get together again, as your insights on faith healing will be most invaluable for my upcoming book.”

Mary beamed, gratefully receiving the card.

“I’m just a Servant of the Lord,” Mary said. “I’m only on this earth to do His will.”

Beverly smiled politely, then without further discussion exited the apartment.

Mary, thankful to have done her part of God, turned to address the maintenance workers. “Now, unless y’all are angels,” she said sternly, “I’d make sure that this elevator works properly before you let anyone else ride in it!”

Still holding onto Beverly’s card, Mary rushed outside to her car to get Sheldon’s birthday present. She carefully placed the card on her dashboard, anticipating the time she would be able to share her faith with Beverly.

When Mary reentered the apartment building, she was not surprised to see caution signs over the elevator doors again. Shaking her head, she ascended the stairs to see her son again. 


End file.
